The Walking Dead Mid Season Finale Redux!!!
Alright, guys. It’s true. I’ve been coming down a little harsh on “The Walking Dead” lately. Maybe it’s because the show has soooo much fucking potential that it seems like the writers have been squandering it all on the Sophia plotline. Granted, I figured that if they were spending a whole six episodes on what should otherwise be a B plotline at best, they must have some grand climax that would make the entire search for Sophia story come to a satisfying conclusion. And I have to hand it to the writers, man… They certainly did.
“Pretty Much Dead Already” was a spectacular episode, dare I say, it might even be the best episode of Season 2? It was so profoundly devastating, that after watching it a second time, I found myself in a bit of a funk. Like all I wanted to do was to curl up into fetal position and cry. It really packed so much gravitas in those final ten minutes, that it gives me a renewed sense of hope for the remainder of season 2.
So basically, since it’s been a while, maybe you need a brief recap of first half of season 2:
Back in present time, our survivors are loadin’ up on their carbs, because fuck those New Years resolutions, it’s the apocalypse!
Andrea, fresh out of options to boast about her sexcapades with Shane now that Twitter is bust, was getting a total hard-on just staring fondly at America’s favorite survivalist sex pot.
Shane, however… had other things on his mind. So many confusing feelings about his bromance with Rick!
Lori, per her usual awful self, was busy rekindling painful emotions for Rick. Hey, someone’s gotta remind him that she had way hotter sex with Shane!
Back in Koreatown, Mags was still mad at Glenn for like, saving her life and being all rational or something? Dunno, but can I just say how awesome it was in the last episode when Maggie called Lori out for being a total bitch? Girl’s won some major brownie points in my book! She’s actually shaping up to be a formidable character, and I for one, am excited to have a strong female voice on this show at long last, god forbid Andrea or Lori live to see the day where they aren’t annoying as shit.
Glenn still had to break the news to the group that, OH YEAH, they’re sleeping next to a bunch of bloodthirsty walkers. Is anyone else worried that Glenn may suffer from an inability to prioritize things properly? Whatevs, I mean, if it was the apocalypse and I was suffering from not getting boned constantly, I’d have more important things on my mind too.
But damn yo, were the other survivors pissed or what?
I can understand how Lori was shocked that walkers were in the barn, I mean, she is awful at pretty much everything, but shame on you everyone else! The smell… the moans… really? You didn’t forsee this plot twist coming AT ALL? Tsk tsk.
Needless to say, Shane went batshit insane at the news, and his first order of business was to stick his face inside of the barn filled with angry walkers.
But on the plus side, that one walker chick seemed super-psyched to have a visitor!
Even after Glenn broke the news, everyone was still waaaaay shocked that walkers were actually in the barn. I mean, when someone tells you there are walkers in a barn, wouldn’t you just be like, “Yo, Imma peace the fuck outta hurrr.” I know at least T-Dawg was thinking that.
Then Rick, with his impenetrable sense of shitty logic, thought the best thing to do was to just let the walkers be? I mean, if I were sleeping next to a janky wood shack full of a bunch of lions that could easily bust through the wood slats and kill me, I guess I would be alright with it too. After all, lions are pretty freakin’ majestic creatures, even when they are mauling my mangled intestines across the ground.
I thought right here, that this would be Shane’s moment to shine. This was going to be the moment where he stuck it to Rick and all the other survivors at long last!
Unfortunately, somewhere along the way his speech disintegrated into that. It made for a hilarious Boomhauer impression though!
But man, did Daryl get PISSSSSED!
But yo, were Andrew Lincoln’s hands INTENSE or what in this episode???
As for Dale, this whole surrogate grandfather act is starting to wear thin. Either dude is just getting senile, or the group should seriously dump him off with those Vatos from season one.
I like how the group, despite the angry, ravenous banging on the barn’s doors, took a long break to ponder the philosophical implications of killing these walkers. Honestly, WTF gang? There shouldn’t even BE a debate over this.
And despite, you know, doing the logical thing and asking Hershel or one of his hundreds of illegitimate step children if Sophia mayhaps might be inside of the barn, I guess that ounce of logic super-ceded these high school drop outs.
Shane had the right idea and all, but it kind of would have been hilarious had he accidentally opened that door. Whoops!
Seriously, that one walker chick had a hard-on all episode for Jon Bernthal. But really, credit due where credit’s due- homie’s got game.
Meanwhile, Mags was havin’ none of Glenn’s apologies. Hey, who can blame her? Menstruating sucks.
LoLz! Back at camp, Lori seemed to be having difficulties teaching little Carl how to write. It’s only a matter of time before he catches up to her level of education, you know?
Over at the barn, Carol seemed to be cool that the burden of her “Happy accident” (a.k.a. Sophia) was finally gone. She was all like, “Hey this is my one-line-limit per episode so I’ve gotta make it count, but the walkers have totally pooped out my daughter by now.”
Daryl, though, was all like, “YOU BITCH!” which was totally uncalled for IMO. The things people say when they’re in love… These two are kind of in love in a creepy, “The Graduate” sort of way, right?
Haha, I guess Carol’s post menopausal hormones were totally throwing Daryl’s MILF phermones for a loop, because then he did this…?
Back in one-plot-twist-in-the-comics-that-I-pray-will-never-happen-in-the-series town, Dale was still crushin’ hard on Andrea…
Now, I would normally say, “Poor Dale though!,” right about here, but this crush is just too damn creepy for me to feel any ounce of sympathy for that filthy senior citizen.
Also, I guess Asians still have time to worry about premature aging from the sun, so naturally, Glenn HAD to wear some kind of protection from those UV rays. It’s good to know people still think about the important things during a zombie outbreak, ya know?
Apparently, Hershel was still around, just catchin’ some Zzz’s before Rick came barging in, spouting off some philosophical BS which Hersh totally cared NOTHING about.
In the mean time, Shane was just practicin’ his best GQ poses, and man, was I starting to get really horny. Anyway, don’t worry folks, Rick came a waltzin’ over just in time to give me some cool-down time.
But was Rick oddly calm about this whole Shane-Lori love triangle thing, or was it just me? I assume things will eventually explode in everyone’s pants/faces in the second half of the season, but for now, Rick sure is keeping his shit together. Good for him! Maybe he’s finally starting to realize that his wife is THE WORST.
Poor Shane though! Lori didn’t even have some common courtesy to tell him that she may be preggers with his sure-to-be BAMF offspring.
I was shocked that this kid was still around. And had lines! Like legit lines! Think about it. This kid probably has hopes. Dreams. Feelings. He’s a human being, too, ya know? Anyways, I can’t wait to see walkers eviscerate the shit out of him soon!
Haha, I loved how Shane came up to Lori and was all like, “Hey slut, remember all those times I saved your life because your husband is kind of a huge pussy? You’re welcome.”
Poor Carl, I kind of wish you would have died when Otis blasted you in the back. Because honestly, with the logic you’ve inherited from your Barney Fife of a father, you’re going to die soon anyways, or at least be the purveyor to a future act of violence for a plot twist that I’m terribly afraid will come to fruition. Geeks, ya’ll know what I’m referring to.
After Shane was finished knocking some sense into Carl, he took off into the RV to search for some ammo so he could finally do what the group should have done about five weeks ago: kill the walkers in the barn. Team Shane FTW!!!
Rick, pulling a classic Rick, decided to take off into the woods to help good ol’ Hershy Bar round up some bloodthirsty heathens. Good plan!
Meanwhile, Carol and Daryl (couple name Darol or Caryl… tee hee) were having some DOPE romantic moments. Daryl even picked a flower for her! I wish he would tap that ass already!
In the mean time, Rick was still thinking of ways to fall under Hershel’s good graces, because dammit! He just wants to be liked!
Still shunning Glenn for tattle-telling about the barn full of walkers (let’s face tattle-tells are BITCHES), Maggie was clearly still sharing her cycle with Andrea and Lori. Us girls gotta stick together, though. I’m willing to allow this little temper tantrum of Maggie’s go because A.) she’s the only promising female voice in this show and B.) she has infinite brownie points for bitching Lori out.
But hey, I gotta hand it to Maggie, Glenn’s a stand-up guy, and at least she was willing to listen to and understand his logic.
Switching back to the whole Shane-Dale plotline, Dale thought it would be a fantastic idea to drag the bag full of guns as far away from the barn full walkers as possible. Either that or he simply forgot what he was doing when he decided to take a leak out in the woods. Old people problems, ya’ll!
After Shane basically told Dale off, he scurried back to camp with his new stash. Then, SHIT HIT THE FAN! Well, eventually.
Once it dawned on our survivors that Shane had gone all Incredible Hulk on their asses and was about to do the first logical thing anyone has done, like in forever, on this show, they were PISSED. I think his unfaltering logic must have caused a brain malfunction in their short circuits because they were hella shocked that he was about to do something THAT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE. I’m all for giving toddlers guns, hell I think all kids have the right to arm themselves against dangerous strangers with candy, but was giving little Carl a weapon to protect himself really that bad of a thing for Shane to have done? Lori certainly thought so…
T-Dawg just gave this look at Lori like:
Touche T-Dawg, touche. Hopefully one day you’ll amount to more than just a number in TWD’s body count.
It wasn’t until the gang saw Officer Friendly wrangling a few harmless walkers in towards the barn that SHIT ACTUALLY HIT THE FAN. And man, the last ten minutes of this episode reeled me in and never let me go.
Needless to say, Shane fucking SNAPPED from Bruce Banner to Incredible Hulk mode when he saw Rick wrangling those walkers into the barn– and with good fucking reason– that shit’s dangerous, you guys!
Shane’s whole tirade was like watching Christian Bale on set– a trainwreck that you can’t quite pull yourself away from.
Shane’s tirade alone was enough reason to give Jon Bernthal an Emmy nod. Seriously, this dude needs his props. He alone has breathed life into a character that could have easily been a one-note villain, and his performance is right up there alongside Bryan Cranston, Giancarlo Esposito, or Aaron Paul’s performances this season.
And how bad ass was the fact that Shane was not only giving a speech, but giving a hands on demonstration? Pretty fucking rad.
I also enjoyed how Rick was yelling at Hershel to get off his feet and help him out with the walker he was herding– like seriously, why the hell would you ask an arthritic 75 year old man who can barely stay awake long enough for his nightly episode of “Columbo” to come on to help you round up a walker? What about Daryl? T-Dawg? Anyone but the senior citizen whose entire life is crashing to a staggering halt at the current moment. That’s just cruel, Rick.
I also enjoyed how our motley crew of survivors seemed to have unlimited ammunition. How sweet must that be during an apocalypse???
Poor T-Dawg though, dude seriously needs to learn how to shoot a gun!
I think one of the things I loved most about this episode was that finally, at long last our gang of merrymen and women banded together and worked as a team. It was awesome watching them banding together to kill all those walkers because god knows they’ll be at each other’s throats soon enough.
It’s not like I didn’t see the whole Sophia-being-a-walker ending coming from a mile away. I totally saw it coming from around episode two or three. But the thing is, this scene was so masterfully written, so beautifully shot, and so utterly devastating that it didn’t matter that I knew what was going to happen. Also, kudos to Bear McCreary (also known for his work on BSG) who composed a beautiful soundtrack for this scene.
Honestly, I figured they would have to kill Sophia, I just didn’t think that Rick would be the one to do it. Watching Rick finally swallow his words and pull the trigger was sheer genius. Bout time he stops waxing poetic about morals and starts carrying through with them.
A fan-fucking-tastic conclusion to an otherwise subpar season. Let’s just hope the concluding episodes can find their voice (and Michonne) and set the pace for the rest of the series as a whole.
If you like-liked this shit then subscribe to my RSS feed, or just do what most people do and stalk me anonymously through my Twitter or my Facebook. But please remember to share it!
What day isn’t today?